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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Cruel Hazel's LiveJournal:

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    Sunday, April 6th, 2008
    3:41 am
    How Gracefully She Falls

    How Gracefully She Falls

    How gracefully she falls.
        In floating steps,
            In backwards lean,
    How gracefully she falls.

    And for a moment, there is no sound,
    Not even the rushing of wind,
    As if the air denies her demise,
        How gracefully she falls.

    And for a moment, gravity slows,
    And she seems motionless in midair,
    As if nature strains to halt her plummet,,
        How gracefully she falls.

    And for a moment, we stand awed,
    Silent as the absent wind,
    Frozen as the stopped time,
    As if our hopes alone could raise her back up.

    But, how gracefully she falls.

         In floating steps,
             In backwards lean,

    How gracefully she falls.
    Thursday, February 7th, 2008
    12:23 pm
    Got this from a friend off of the sideshow circuit for an event tonight.


    http://www.atomicbooks.com/

    MCSWEENEY'S WINTER TOUR

    Thursday, February 7. 7-9PM.
    atomic POP.
    Hampden, Baltimore.
    3620 Falls Rd.

    Featuring:
    DAVY ROTHBART (FOUND Magazine)
    ELI HOROWITZ (McSweeney's)
    JOHN BRANDON (Arkansas)

    McSweeney's publisher Eli Horowitz, author John Brandon (Arkansas), and Davy Rothbart (Found magazine) will be appearing together.

    All attendants will receive a temporary tattoo and a chance to see a man swallow a sword.
    Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
    11:13 pm
    Sophie Says...
     I wrote this at 3am last night...

    Sophie Says

    Sophie leans over the bar,
    Legs spread, ass raised,
    the poise of a well-traveled porn star,
    And all eyes drift over to her,
    And slide off her curves,
    She knows without looking.

    But Sophie doesn't care
    No, Sophie doesn't care.

    Sophie says, if you got it, flaunt it;
    If you don't, then fake it.
    Sophie says, assets are for using,
    so you can give or take it.

    Sophie discusses sciences,
    Darwin and Lamarck,
    And briefly about political alliances.
    And the belief in a primitive god,
    Impressed, they start to nod.
    She knows without looking.

    But Sophie doesn't care
    No, Sophie doesn't care.

    Sophie says, if you got it, flaunt it;
    If you don't, then fake it.
    Sophie says, assets are for using,
    so you can give or take it.

    But Sophie doesn't care,
    No, Sophie doesn't care.
    Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
    6:24 pm
    Well, it HAS been a busy year.
    Dear Santa...

    Dear Santa,

    This year I've been busy!

    Last month I put money in [info]ravrhi 's expired parking meter (14 points). In September I invaded Iraq, broke it, and couldn't glue it back together before Mom got home (-1012 points). In November I ruled Iran as a cruel and heartless dictator (-700 points). In August I had a shoot-out with rival gang lords on the 5 near LA (-76 points). Last Wednesday I didn't flush (-1 points).

    Overall, I've been naughty (-1775 points). For Christmas I deserve a spanking!

    Sincerely,
    cruelhazel

    Write your letter to Santa! Enter your LJ username:
    12:07 am
    Stolen from Sara and Brennan because clearly, the cool kids are doing it
     I am fairly sure this is how Rasputina picks their song topics
    1. Go to the Wikipedia home page. Select your native language and click Random article. That is your band's name.
    2. Click Random article again; that is your album name.
    3. Click Random article 15 more times; those are the tracks on your alb    um.

    Band name: Xavier Institute of Management and Entrepreneurship (XIME)

    Album name: Sacrifice

    1. (87269) 2000 OO67
    2.     West Milton
    3. Standing Stones of Stenness
    4. USS Nansemond County
    5. Raging Bull
    6. Tisserand
    7. Luray High School
    8. Complementary good
    9. Ed Zotti
    10. Cadier
    11. Ransom note effect
    12. Beni
    13. Under the Iron Sea
    14. Kevin Lovell
    15. Kasahara
    Monday, October 8th, 2007
    1:56 pm
    Ohhhh, you kids and your drugs.
     I've been trying not to post lately, being I can never seem to keep up regular updates, but I thought this was hilarious.

    So, anyone who has been within 3 feet of me within the past few months has heard me ramble on about my love of l'ensemble Cercamon, a group of French-Canadian performers who perform troubadour style music at the Renfest. So this past weekend, during mid show banter (and do keep in mind, they have French accents and English is not their first language):

    Pierre-Alexandre: Hahaha, hohoho, *imitates stereotypical French laughter* huh huh huh!
    Audience: *laughs and returns said stereotypical French laughter* Huh huh huh!
    P-A: Oh! So, you know then! That is what French people sound like, yes?
    Audience member: But you guys are French!
    P-A: Ah, no. We are Québécois.
    Audience: *stares blankly*
    P-A: Eh, Québécois? From Quebec?
    Audience: *stares blankly*
    P-A: Ahhhh, I'm sorry. Kwebek. That is how you say it here. We are from Kwebek in Canada.
    Andrew: Actually, I think we are part of the US now.
    Audience: *cheers for the US*
    Andrew: Hey! Hey! The Canadian dollar is stronger than your dollar right now!
    Audience: *shocked*
    Andrew: That is right! We could buy and sell you... on eBay!
    (Audience laughs as I snarf my beer and nearly pee myself from the hilarity of the entire exchange)
    Tuesday, August 14th, 2007
    10:04 pm
    I could have been productive today. But I wasn't at all.



    Cursory glance at the images seem to indicate no cysts, which is good, because, well, cysts would be bad. However, one of my ovaries is enlarged (the left, I think) and we aren't really sure why yet. SO, being a neurotic, I am spending most of my day trying to convince myself that my ovaries are not going to detach from my body and try to kill me.
    Mmmmm... neurosis.

    Also, there is major drama/pwnage going on in an LJComm I am in (Deleterius), involving a butthurt fanfic marysue author, Meyshi, who wangsts because we made fun of her fic. Then she brought DMCA complaints, claiming we had violated her copyright be using excerpts from her story. This led to LJ saying, delete the post, have your account suspended, or file a counter-action with DMCA. Then people in my comm said, "Fan fiction is a derivative work. You can't bring legal action over something you have no actual right to copyright. You're on, bitch." So a few of them filed counter-actions. [info]mcpo_john117, aka St. PWNED, decided to write to JK Rowlings publisher about Meyshi's attempt to file DMCA charges regarding her fanfic. And we were all pretty shocked when he told us today that Rowlings US attorneys' firm had actually called him, apparently pretty pissed off at Meyshi's legal attempts. So, they are now working with Deleterius members right now to help build a case should the need arise.

    More specific notes on the scandal have been documented by our own Snuffy Livingston here - http://inkvein.net/Meyshi.doc

    And of course, Rachel is coming tomorrow and I am excited, plus Hooray for Hershey Park on Thursday! (Even if they only have bad beer.)
    Monday, August 13th, 2007
    4:49 pm
    Stuff and stuff
     So, random updates-

    Finished my intro to law course. I did surprisingly well. I'm pretty sure I scored an A. Soooo, yay me.

    Yo decided she's going to move back to Lakewood, so goodbye to the only person I really had to hang out with in Bmore. :-(

    I have seen more doctors in the past few weeks than ever and I'm glad it's nearly done with. Way too many dentist appointments especially. That will teach me the dangers of irregular flossing and manual toothbrushes.
    Been on some psych med changes too. I think we've finally found my happy potion combo- a mix of Cymbalta, Ambien, and Vyvanse. Hooray! On a side note, for those keeping track; Cymbalta is great, Ambien is satisfactory, and Vyvanse OWNS MY SOUL. For serious, Vyvanse is the best ADD med I've been on. It's an Adderall derivative modified to have less use as a street drug. I've been on Adderall proper and it did almost nothing for me. Vyvanse, however, did TONS for me. I can now concentrate through coursework and it has done WONDERS as an appetite suppressant, as I no longer have pregnant women cravings. w00t.



    I also went on a game binge and bought a bunch of card and board games, including all three sets of Chez Geek. It is awesome and I cannot wait to find people to play with me. I am all about some fun game times ahead.

    Also, this week is Hershey Park for me. It's a little birthday tradition in my family that as part of my birthday gift, my parents take me and a friend to Hershey Park. Of course, they don't have to go, but I like having the parents drive so friend and I can sleep on the way back. We usually ride Chocolate World together and then friend and I ditch the parents until closing time.
    And it's really nice because it gives me the chance to get some quality in with a friend who has been especially groovy to me that year. So this year, I'm taking Rachel D with me because she is awesome, even if she is leaving me for grad school in NY. She's staying at my place Weds and Thurs night, which will almost certainly ensure wacky adventures and delicious cooking escapades.  And of course, Thurs is Hershey Park, where we will most certainly go on many a caper.

    And that is it. I think that covers anything exciting.

    Errr, so, go home now... Bye! *runs away*
    Friday, August 3rd, 2007
    6:43 pm
    Pretty Pictures!
     I finally got out and photographed some of my plants today.

    Anyone who would prefer a flickr stream to an image heavy LJ post, the link to my flickr album is here.
    Go ahead and take a look. Some of the "large" images of the sunflowers are especially beautiful.

    I got a few beautiful shots of my Red Sun Sunflower. It is the only sunflower remaining in my garden, as the bunnies have attacked and eaten the other ones. It is sad.

    I also have a dwarf yellow sunflower that I grew inside a Guinness bottle... because I could. Like bonsai, because the roots are constricted, it is much smaller than its "free range" brothers.

    I also got a few shots of my nasturtium and lemongrass, which are both flourishing happily.

    And finally, a couple shots of some butterflies flying around the flowering bush in our back yard.
    3:47 pm
    Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
    8:32 pm
    How bad? Superbad.
     I'm taking my Intro to Law final tomorrow. I'm pretty sure I'll do fine, but like any good neurotic, I can't help being a little worried.
    Went to go see the advance screening of Superbad last night with Yo. It was... sub-par. But I sort of feel like I may not be able to appreciate generic teen comedies anymore, so my bias is pretty obvious.
    A surprisingly involved review I wrote is located on my alternate blog, CruelHazel's Big Bucket of Miscellanea. (Formerly, "CruelHazel's Big Bucket of Socio-Political Fun".)

    Sorry to keep two blogs (three, if you count the writing archive). I'm tending to keep longer, more formalized entries on the Blogger and keeping the casual day-to-day personal notes on this one. (Hooray for LJ filters!)

    And just to screw with you, expect a 4th soon. I'm starting up a new food blog, The Hardcore Gourmet, in order to exploit my cooking and blogging addictions. (Also, my irkedness at the ridiculous fact that my brother had a food blog already, and I, the cook, didn't.) Only an intro up for now, but it'll start gaining content soon. By the way, I'll gladly accept suggestions and contributions, especially regarding meat dishes. (The failing of a vegetarian food blogger...) For anyone involved with "Man Shabbos" (you know who you are), I'd love to get some work from you guys.
    Expect major updates on that blog post-final.

    Also, still looking for a movie buddy to go see an advance screening of Stardust at Arundel Mills next week (the 7th) and a concert buddy to go see Rasputina and My Brightest Diamond at the Ottobar (the 8th).
    Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
    8:58 pm
    Cheap Games
     I am looking to get the full Chez Geek set (all 3 decks) as a belated birthday present to myself. If anyone knows a website that deals in cheap board/card games and/or cheap shipping, let me know. I promise to share the gaming love.
    Thursday, July 26th, 2007
    4:31 pm
    This weekend
     I'm am doing a minor procrastinate and posting this before I start my legal debate write-up on the death penalty. Afterwards, post-rush hour, I'm going to do some crazy packing of various cookware and random ingredients and head to Moishe House to do some preliminary cooking for Shabbat of LUV. Afterwards, sleep. Then, more cooking. Then the Shabbat of LUV dinner. Then massive studying into the wee hours of the morn to finish up my final two units in my law class. Then hardcore relaxation for whatever amount of the weekend that I have left.
    Simpsons movie is coming out this weekend and I'd actually really like to go see it. I think it'd be neat to pair it up with a pilgrimage to the Bladensburg Kwik-E-Mart. It's essentially a 7-11, all Simpsonfied to resemble the Kwik-E-Mart. Also, it sells Krusty-O's, Buzz Cola, Pink Frosted Donuts, Radioactive Man comics, and so forth. I know it's blatant corporate consumerism... But you know what? It worked. It's adorable and I totally want to go.
    Anyone in to see some yellow this weekend?
    Drop me a line.

    And remember:



    Stolen from John from The Baltimore Snacker. It's an extraordinarily good blog and it's well worth the time to read for anyone in the B-more scene.


    Thank you! Come again!


    "I don't get mad. I get stabby."
    6:17 am
    I should be doing an analysis now.
     Didn't you know?

    Emotions are for "ethnic" people!

    (Also stolen from John from The Baltimore Snacker. For real, I <3 the blog.)
    Wednesday, July 18th, 2007
    3:01 pm
    I've been AWOL, I know. Paralegal class sucks up the vast majority of my time. The rest of it is split up between time with Yo and weekends at Moishe  House. Class ends August 1st. w00t.
    Interesting things have happened. Though busy, life is good. I'll elaborate later.

    August 8th- Rasputina and My Brightest Diamond are playing at the Ottobar.
    These are easily two of my favorite groups. If you are not familiar with their music, I will be happy to remedy that. In any case, I will 100% be there. Let me know if you want to come along. I would certainly dig some company.

    Current Mood: complacent
    Current Music: Radical Recital - Rasputina
    Thursday, June 14th, 2007
    12:43 pm
    Why We Have Pride
     Got this from Equality Maryland in my inbox this morning. It's a stellar piece on Gay Pride by Dan Furmansky, who I've had the opportunity to work with more than once.
    Enjoy.

     

    Thursday, May 31st, 2007
    4:11 pm
    Challenge- Can I use "asshole" more than 10 times in a two paragraph post?
     Ok, to every single "nice guy" out there who bitches he can't get a girl because he's "nice" and girls only like "assholes" and therefore, he is going to act like an asshole so he can finally get a girl.

    Do it.

    I'm serious. Do it. For reals.

    I know I used to be the one arguing with you, telling you why your standpoint is pure bullshit, but I changed my mind. By all means, go be an asshole. In fact, if you think that's what you should do, than I INSIST that you act like an asshole.
    This makes it that much easier for women to know who you are. You're the guy who thinks that acting like an asshole gets women! That way, we don't waste any time trying to get to know you because you seemed nice, but then turned out to be an asshole- specifically, the type of asshole who thinks you need to be an asshole to get chicks.
    This would be far more efficient for us sane women.
    And then you can get the psycho girls who think they want an asshole. This will be awesome for you, for you will have a chick, and she will have an asshole. And it will be great for us, because then we can easily define you as an asshole and we can easily pick out which of our XX peers are psycho enough to want to date an asshole. Wins all around. Up until you both realize of course that she is a psycho chick who wants to date an asshole and that you are, in fact, an ASSHOLE.
    But hey, what could go wrong in that situation, eh?
    So, please, please, if you think that being an asshole is going to score you a woman, DO IT.
    Sane women everywhere will thank you.
    Saturday, May 19th, 2007
    10:17 pm
    Ok, you know what? Fuck it. I'm going to grab some munchies and just get trashed here.
    If anyone needs me, good luck. I will be piss drunk.
    Monday, April 23rd, 2007
    1:27 pm
    Quick Question:
    Debating whether or not to drive in this weekend. Is anyone else going to Maryland Day this weeknd?
    Sunday, April 22nd, 2007
    10:19 pm
    I stole is from Sara
     I know, I don't post anymore. Life is boring.

    I do need a date to the RAINN reception welcoming Christina Ricci as our new spokesperson though. Takers?

    Here's a meme, because I'm a sucker.

    Fill this one out, about me, and post your answers in the comments. Then post the blank to your journal so people can do it for you.

    My name:

    Summarize me in three words:

    Where did we meet:

    Take a stab at my middle name:

    How long have you known me:

    When is the last time that we saw each other:

    Do I drink:

    Do I smoke:

    Am I happy:

    Am I a good person:

    What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me:

    What's one of my favorite things to do:

    Am I funny:

    How do you make me smile:

    What's my favorite type of music:

    Have you ever seen me cry:

    Can I sing?:

    What is the best feature about me:

    Am I shy or outgoing:

    Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:

    Do I have any special talents:

    Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what):

    I'm hot? Am I not?

    Have I seen you naked?:

    Have you ever hugged me:

    Kissed me?:

    What is my favorite food:

    Have you ever had a crush on me:

    Am I dating anyone:

    If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be:

    What's your favorite memory of me:

    Who do I like right now:

    What is my worst habit:

    If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring?

    Are we friends:

    Do you want us to be more than friends?

    Do I believe in God?

    Am I family oriented?

    Who is my best friend?

    Will you repost this so I can do it?

    How Far Would You Go With the Person Who Posted This?
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